It is certain: your childhood matters!
There is no scientific doubt anymore: your early life stage is the foundation of your adult health and wellbeing. What you experience at a young age in life, builds the blueprint for all growth and development that follow.
A human baby is very immature at birth: the brain volume is only 25% of what it will be around the age of 25-30. A baby is completely dependent on others and cannot yet regulate their own stress. In order to do that, the nervous system of a young child needs the nervous system of a stable adult. If there is insufficient capacity in the parent(s) to notice the baby's needs and to sensitively respond to them, stress will arise that gets stored in the little baby body.
Stored stress… a lifelong issue
It is not a problem if parents momentarily miss out on what their baby needs. When most of the time they are (emotionally) available to their child, all will be well. If the stress and physical tension continue, however, and do not get released and discharged, the stress becomes chronic – toxic stress.
The word ‘toxic’ sounds intense and that is exactly what it is. Continuous stress is harmful to many bodily functions. Brain development suffers, the immune system cannot function properly and self-confidence and resilience become compromised. All those factors together exact a heavy toll. Even if the young child still seems to function well, there can be problems in adolescence or adulthood that seemingly arise 'out of nowhere'. Struggling with work and education, addiction, ADHD, relational challenges, cardiovascular disease, depression and burn-out are just a small selection from the many health issues that have roots in childhood. How to tackle those?
Compassionate Inquiry – a gentle approach
Compassionate Inquiry (CI), the psychotherapeutic approach from Gabor Maté (doctor, author, global expert in the field of addiction, trauma, AD(H)D and early child development) is a gentle, sensitive discovery journey into suppressed emotions as a soure of mental and physical health issues, addictive habits, and other (inner) turmoil.
In a CI-session, we have no agenda, no judgment, and no intention to 'fix' the client. The therapist merely guides the client to their own inner wisdom, their own inner truth. Old core beliefs, unconscious memories and physical reactions to them will surface and be brought into the light of day, where they can be examined and released. Then healing can happen: letting go of self-judgment and stuff that no longer serves you, and repair of the broken connection with the True Self.
An exciting and courageous process
When for decades you have looked at life and dealt with it in a certain way, chances are that you see that attitude as your character: you are, in your experience, who and what you show to the world. It can be hard sometimes to imagine that many beliefs, perceptions, and behaviour patterns are the result of early childhood experiences. You can think of psych(iatr)ic or addiction problems of or between your parents, emotional neglect, physical abuse or sexual violence. Showing vulnerability may have been dangerous when you were young. A therapeutic process can then be a challenge that requires time and courage.
When you work with me, all your emotions are welcome – together we attune to all that is present for you.
Healing and transformative growth
For some time, while being in the cocoon, a caterpillar that is becoming a butterfly is just absolutely 'nothing', no-thing: the substance within the cocoon is unrecognisable, yet all the material to build a whole new organism is there. Feeling old pain can be confusing and disorienting: sometimes you don't know who you are anymore and what suits you. That is a difficult and at the same time well-known, inevitable and indispensible aspect of healing and transformation. To become who you are meant to be, everything you need is present. Slowly, step by step, you (re)gain your sense of safety and balance and you learn to truly receive and experience compassion. You are welcome in this world, exactly and completely as you are!
A one-on-one consultation
Maybe you feel like getting stuck in dynamics that constantly repeat themselves. Does your joy for life leave much to be desired? Do you have a hard time finding your own spot in life? Is it difficult to make your personal development flourish? Then a one-on-one consultation might help you on your way, so that you can rekindle your inner fire. You yourself are the one who decides what you want to look into. Through Compassionate Inquiry and maybe a systemic method together we will dive into the origins of your pain, your triggers, and your responses to them.
Do you think this approach appeals to you and fits your views...? Then feel welcome with your questions and feel free to get in touch!
You find the contact details elsewhere on the website. Together, we plan a date and beforehand you receive an intake form, with which we can both prepare ourselves for our meeting.
Take into account that afterwards, you may be tired because of all that you experienced during the session. It is therefore advisable to plan your consultation in such a way that you will have some time to yourself afterwards.
The rate for a consultation is €80,00 per hour (ex VAT).
Once the appointment has been made, I count on your presence.
Cancelling needs to be done at least 24 hours in advance.
In case of shorter notice, two consultation hours will be invoiced.